Because sarahetc said 'make fic of this'. Yes, I really am that easy. *grins*  Apologies for today's spam folks - maybe this'll make it up for it.

Title: Always Read The Label
Rating/Warning: PG13
Length: 839 words
Summary: Ron and Hermione with a chocolate orange, sometime after the first Christmas since they were married.


Always Read The Label

"What are these?" asked Ron curiously.

Hermione looked over at her new husband and smiled. He was sat sideways on the couch going through the contents of the plastic Asda carrier bag her Nan had left them when she came to visit on Boxing Day.

"Bad for your teeth," she replied.

Ron pulled a Toblerone out of the bag and examined it. "You mean they're, what, Muggle sweets?"

"Mmm, chocolate mostly. That one has nougat in as well, I think." She sat down next to him, curling her feet up underneath herself to keep them warm. "That's the problem with Christmas; everyone buys too much to eat, especially sweet things. Nan's diabetic, so she buys them for her visitors and she always passes the leftovers on to me. She always seems to think being brought up by a pair pf dentists means that I was deprived of sweet things."

"Muggles eat money?" asked Ron as he discovered a bag of Thornton's chocolate coins.

Hermione grinned. "No, they're just chocolate covered in foil."

"What about this?" He waved a small box at her. "Says it's an orange, but oranges don't come in boxes," he scoffed.

Hermione reached over to take it off him and explain, but he held it up over his head and out of her reach, which wasn't difficult with arms as long as his. She knelt up, braced herself with one hand on his shoulder, and made a grab for the box, but he just leant back and managed to move it even further away.

"Oh, honestly." She brushed away some of the hair that had gotten into her eyes and settled back down onto the couch as he laughed at her.

"Brawns over brains!" he crowed.

"Brains before beauty," she retorted and he pulled a face.

"Please don't ever let my brothers here you calling me 'beautiful'. Or, you know, anyone. Ever."

"Well you are. I think you are."

He ducked his head and mumbled something that she didn't quite catch as a blush crept up the sides of his neck.

Ron was always uncomfortable when she complimented him on his appearance, even when she used an appropriately masculine term. Hermione knew it wasn't so much to do with the inferiority complex he'd developed as a sixth child, but more because of the many scars he'd gained during the war. Yet he never shied away from her scars or complimenting her on her appearance, so she was determined to keep complimenting him until he accepted that she did love how he looked, and until then he couldn't argue with her doing something that he did himself. Or he could, but he wouldn't win.

Hermione cringed as Ron ripped open the chocolate orange box at the side, instead of opening it properly at the top. He pulled out the clear plastic that encased and held in place the orange, then brought the round ball of tinfoil-wrapped chocolate up to eye level and inspected it critically.

"It's chocolate that tastes kind of like oranges and is shaped like an orange," said Hermione. "You break it into segments and eat it."

"I know you eat chocolate." He turned the 'orange' over and over. "Why does the label on top say 'whack and unwrap'?"

He wiggled his bushy eyebrows suggestively and Hermione blushed herself as a fair few dirty thoughts invaded her brain, no doubt due to the bad influence of spending so much time (and having so much fun) with Ron.

"Um. You whack it, on a hard surface, so it breaks into segments and then you unwrap the foil. Then you eat it."

Ron peeled off the label, stuck it on his forehead, and wigged his eyebrows again.

Hermione squeaked and hit him on the arm with an open palm.

"Does that count as my 'whack'?" He pushed the chocolates and the still half-full bag off his lap and onto the floor with a grin. "Going to 'unwrap' me now?"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Is that a trick question?"

Hermione moved closer and he moved his legs apart so she could sit between them, facing him. She ran a fingertip around the second-to-top button of his shirt – the top one being already open.

Ron shifted his legs a little and this close she could feel he was already excited by the turn of events. Hermione wasn't sure if she would ever be comfortable with confessing it, but she secretly loved how often Ron wanted to have sex with her. She didn't require proof that he liked her that way, but it was wonderful to have.

(She also wasn't sure if she'd be able to eat a chocolate orange ever again without blushing, but right now she really didn't care.)

She popped the button open, pressed herself closer until her breasts were brushing his chest, and smiled up at him. "Unwrap and then…eat?"

Ron swallowed hard. "Well, it was on the label, Hermione. It's an instruction."

She laughed, and then he laughed, and then she kissed him.